250 Things to be Happy About

I wrote this last year but wanted to post it here on my blog because I just love it and want to share it again. I think everyone should have a list like this. Enjoy. :)

1. Flannel pjs with coffee
2. Getting a really good haircut
3. Star gazing
4. Clicking of keyboard keys
5. Holding your shoulders high
6. Answers
7. Cake batter
8. Waking up with some you love
9. Tender, loving touches
10. The art in everyday
11. A good face cream
12. Star bucks
13. Part of you always being a child
14. Knitting
15. Incurable enthusiasm
16. Good coffee
17. A pillow top mattress
18. Sundresses
19. When the lights come up at twilight
20. Home cooked breakfast
21. Getting a good job
22. Cheeks aglow
23. A good smile
24. The sensuality of a scalp rub
25. Free throws, sunk
26. Organizing
27. Witnessing something happy
28. Pies
29. Hills
30. Thoughts while ironing
31. The little things in life that really make your day
32. Pink grapefruit with tons of sugar
33. Gratefulness
34. Choices
35. Getting warm by a fire
36. Not worrying
37. Split-second thrills
38. Men
39. Hammocks
40. Burning your bridges
41. Downloading music
42. Following through
43. Ravioli
44. Reliability
45. Perfectly green grass
46. A sunny day and best friend to share it with
47. Reading your favorite magazine
48. A good book
49. Bread and butter
50. Writing a book
51. Not being easily embarrassed
52. Running
53. Endorphins
54. Singing while you drive
55. Writing the final sentence
56. Perfect handwriting
57. The one song you can play on guitar
58. Writing a letter
59. Stuffing
60. Food smothered with gravy
61. A sense of relief
62. Visiting a planetarium
63. A first kiss
64. Looking your best
65. Mischievousness
66. 50 percent off your purchase
67. Good news for a change
68. Popcorn at the movies
69. Mozzarella
70. Being taken to the zoo
71. Hot air balloons
72. Accepting a compliment
73. Sharpies
74. Old photographs
75. Dr. Seuss
76. Laughing out loud
77. Sailboats
78. Adrenaline
79. Weekends
80. Getting toned
81. Hearing someone brag about you
82. A satisfying meal
83. Good conversation
84. Having butterflies for someone
85. Hope
86. Smiling
87. Discovering a really good new song or band
88. Second chances
89. Making new friends
90. Loving forever
91. A sleeping baby
92. Having morals
93. Impulse control
94. Saying what you really need to say
95. Pizza
96. Actually printing your pictures
97. Dreaming nice dreams
98. People who understand there’s a lot to you
99. Kittens
100. A good seat in the movie theater
101. Saving your money
102. Being too busy to notice
103. Notebooks with blank pages to be filled
104. Feeling well rested
105. Nervous laughter
106. Hot showers ailing you
107. Courage
108. Lyrics
109. Believing in yourself when no one else will
110. Someone loving the smell of your skin
111. Good advice
112. Someone who looks right in your eyes and smiles a huge smile
113. The silence of close friendship
114. Seeing a play
115. Getting really good sleep
116. Taking chances
117. Day dreaming
118. Flirting
119. An unexpected letter
120. Newborns
121. Having a clean car
122. Smiling at someone who never smiles at you
123. Thunderstorms
124. Self respect
125. Confidence
126. Hugs
127. Losing weight
128. Cutting your own hair
129. White t-shirts
130. A down to earth attitude
131. Fireflies
132. No excuses
133. A kiss on the forehead
134. Standing out in a crowd
135. Pick-me-ups
136. A new wax job on your car
137. Making the best of what you have
138. Falling in love
139. Working out
140. Reading old letters
141. Pleasant thoughts and feelings
142. 7 point comfort check: brain, temperature, light, noise, thirst, digestion, body
143. Wife beater tanks
144. Acts of kindness
145. Listening to your gut instincts
146. Standing up for yourself and beliefs
147. Jeans that fit you well
148. Desperate love letters
149. Clean hair
150. Good pens
151. Laughing until you cry
152. Getting to know someone
153. A gentleman
154. Soft skin
155. Going out to breakfast
156. Having money to spend
157. An extremely comfy bed
158. Ranch
159. Fearlessness
160. A good handshake
161. Someone saying, “You’re glowing”
162. The smell of someone you adore
163. Fresh, crisp air that you take a moment to inhale
164. The happiness of heading home
165. The voice you love to hear
166. Always having something to look forward to
167. Turning points in life
168. Being out on a boat for the day
169. The excitement of finally leaving work
170. A Technicolor sunset
171. A good Monday
172. Knowing how to use HTML
173. Reading between the lines
174. A good afternoon
175. Not dramatizing a difficulty
176. Movies and books you can relate to
177. Doing something brave
178. Doing the right thing, even when it’s the hard thing
179. Having a secret and keeping it
180. Bioluminescence
181. Energy
182. Courage and conviction
183. Not depending on others for anything
184. The certain way you smile at one another when your eyes meet
185. A vulnerable, tearstained face
186. Changing your own tire
187. BLTs
188. Roller coasters
189. Learning to say no
190. Seeing a grown man cry
191. Liking your boss and coworkers
192. Feeling confident and sexy
193. Knowing how to punch
194. Holding hands
195. A stranger smiling at you
196. No-turning-back situations
197. Mix tapes
198. Scrubs
199. Not worrying about what’s going to happen
200. Swallowing your pride
201. Connecting with someone
202. Someone with strong hands massaging your back
203. Swimming
204. Watching someone sleep
205. Your best friend
206. A song you rediscover
207. Sleeping naked in fresh sheets
208. Sun rooms
209. The yelp of a puppy
210. Surfing
211. Breakfast for dinner
212. Good things coming your way
213. Seahorses
214. A hug when you really need it
215. Letting go
216. Nice pictures of yourself
217. Poker
218. Effortlessness
219. Wedding gowns
220. Guest rooms
221. Creating opportunities
222. Revelations
223. Swimming one quarter mile equaling running one mile
224. Your favorite outfit
225. “You can’t take it with you”
226. The right words at the right time
227. Honesty
228. Not neglecting a diary
229. Love never failing
230. Not comparing yourself with others
231. Whispering in the dark
232. Ballet outfits
233. Four hugs a day fulfilling your emotional hunger
234. Having your own business card
235. Porch swings
236. Humility
237. Things falling into place
238. Pregnant bellies
239. Pop tarts
240. Deep breaths
241. Saying what’s on your mind
242. Finally quitting a terrible job
243. A surprise marriage proposal
244. Red solo cups
245. Boys that smell nice
246. A text message that makes you smile
247. Sexy underwear
248. Dancing like a fool
249. Getting what you wanted
250. Our lives being what our thoughts make them

Things Better Left Unsaid

There’s a lot I don’t say,  even more I don’t do.
I just set fire to the words I scribble
On pads and paper as I sleep this winter through.

You spend your days writing songs, well I can write words too.
I wrote a million pages of words.
I wrote this melody for you.

And I’m sorry this is coming in so low.
It’s not meant to be so harsh.
But it’s an outlet for me, a self-soothing art.

Cause I’ve searched for meaning in street lights,
In stop signs, in the waves of this beach.
There’s nothing romantic about this goodbye speech.

I don’t want to be what you need.
I just want to be who I am.
Still the words I’m trying to form aren’t making any sense.

I’m taking deep breaths, you’re pulling away.
It’s a little dramatic, a little cliché.
And it hurts, I’m breaking, I’m not okay.
Somehow you’ve stolen all that was left of me.

*Another piece from my collective book "But My Heart Said No"

Train of Thought

I always thought working from home would be the ideal job. That was of course, until, I found a job working from home.

Accounting must be the, and I mean the most boring job there is. The job I've acquired is nothing but copying and calculating. Distractions are always needed, and found. The typical day looks something like...

Alarm.

Mmm, 10 more minutes.


~1 to 2 hours later


Coffee... breakfast... ah I should really sit and work... oh, Let's Make a Deal is on!


After much convincing and arguing with myself to get off the couch, I make my way over to the table to pull papers out, and work.

This happened this day, this purchase that day. Calculating, calculating... I should go to the bathroom.


My face really needs some lotion... I don't take care of my skin...


Heading to my room, I notice undone laundry.

I should have laundry going while I work, that sounds productive...


I scoop all the various clothing items, notice the unmade bed, and make it. Gather the laundry and bring it to the basement. I drag myself back to the table, and notice Twitter updates alerting me from my phone. I am without the willpower to not check them.


Oh, I love Steve Carell. I should put a movie on while I work.


I head to the television and turn it on. SVU marathon is on all day.


I love SVU.


I leave the channel and head back to the table, staring at the television from across the room.

What happened to her? Who's that?


You can't watch only a piece of a Law and Order episode. I'm glued.

Okay, focus. I sip my coffee. It's cold. Irritated I don't care, I continue to work. Then hesitate...


I would work better if my coffee was better...

I woke up too late, brew a new pot of coffee. Head back to the table and realize I never put lotion on my face. I sigh, heavily, like I do too often. Rub my eyes and yawn. I get a text.

"What're you doing today?"

I laugh to myself.

"Working." I reply.

"You should come hang out with me, instead."

I consider it. I am accomplishing nothing. No, no. I need to get this stuff done. I just need to focus. I've only been sitting here an hour! If that! The almost empty sheet I've been 'working' on mocks me.

"I can't, I need to work."

The washing machine beeps, the cat cries to go out, my phone starts ringing, the coffee maker finishes brewing, and my favorite character gets shot.

I really need a new job.

Games

Found this old little poem today in a collective works book I've written entitled, "But My Heart Said No". I'll occasionally share other pieces from that book. I loved this one, wanted to share.




Games


My eyes are swollen over, tired of trying to stay open. I just want to sleep. I’ve been awake for days, for months I dream. Taking the longest way home to find myself it seems. My fingertips are raw from the nervous biting I’ve been doing. I’m not much for chivalry, I’m not much for anything.

And the days go by, and still I’m fine. Row by row, and line by line. The clock ticks and my lungs rise and fall. I’ve done this once, I’ve done it twice. I’m a graduate now, it’s turning out nice. The kids play and I laugh beside them. It’s mediocre, and I’m okay, I like it.

I see you there, once in a while. Your stupid hair, your crooked smile. And it’s okay, I’m alright. Just stay a distance, stay out of range. It wouldn’t make it easy on this heartache. But still you insist, you come closer, talk kinder. I thought I was clear, should I shout a little louder?

Back off, stay away. Get out of this place. I didn’t ask you here. I can’t have it this way, I need you to leave.

Then you’re gone. I’m okay. I smile, when you’re away.

Then I think, and you’re gone. And I frown, cause I’m wrong. I don’t want it this way, with you gone, while I pray. Pray for these games to be over. And my mind to stop fighting. I’m fighting a game I can’t possibly win. A game I didn’t ask for, can’t possibly want. Cause it’s a game of lose, lose, and it’s a constant taunt. Of the things I can’t have, the things I need. The things I can’t ask for.

If I’m being honest, you’re only a tease.

Luck

Once I spilled an entire bottle of white nail polish on the seats of my new car the week I graduated from high school. I swore that was the unluckiest thing that could have happened. Weeks later a woman rear-ended me at a red light, ruining the back end, and fled the scene. I've continued my life with spinal damage and chronic pain. If I'm being honest, luck had nothing to do with it.

Blind

Should I assume the time will come when you will finally see it too?

Well it’s funny what you can’t see.

A broken heart’s an empty room.

Intro

Among the many things I am, and do, I am a writer. A decision to start blogging was made to help me emotionally, I suppose, and get everything out of my head and into the minds of others. I've written so much over the years and rarely shown anyone a thing. This is the beginning of the end, I guess. I'll start with sharing a little about myself and who I am, you can fill in the blanks.

I am 22, almost 23, years old and was born in the beginning of 1989. I am a part time photographer, new to the profession, but mostly do it for fun. I became one of Jehovah's Witnesses about 5 years ago, and it was the best thing to ever happen to me. I volunteer full time in a ministry during the week and do accounting for my parent's business the rest of the time.

I am a coffee-holic, I own 7 black cats, and I'm not quite 5 feet tall. I'm completely impatient, overly emotional, and enjoy hosting parties. The best advise I ever got was from an eleven year old after a heart break. I'm learning to play the guitar. I have 3 older brothers and 1 younger sister. My sister is my best friend.

And that, my friends, is just a bit of boring random facts about your's truly. I suppose everything else you'll discover through my future entries.